Sunday, March 13, 2016


"Teen Wolf" (1985)
Directed by Rod Daniel

   You would have thought that when Michael J. Fox came BACK TO THE FUTURE, things would be hunky dory, but no. He had to go and make things more complicated by becoming a teen-aged werewolf! This brings us to the 1985 Lycanthropic Classic, "Teen Wolf". After studying this film, I noticed that when Scott is in wolf-form, he shows that he is more talented than the human version of himself. He uses this to his advantage when he becomes the star player on his high school basketball team and why wouldn't he? Who doesn't want to see shaggy flying fur making slam dunks all in the name of high school basketball? You would think that it would end there, but no. When one becomes a teen wolf, it's hard to resist the temptation of break-dancing in the school hallways, "surfing" to The Beach Boys music on the top of a moving van and of course starting a new wolfy dance sensation at the prom. These are the type of things that makes someone not only a popular kid, but dare I suggest, a legend.
   It's difficult for me to think of this movie, without thinking about Pamela's sex scene with Scott as the wolf.
   In this scene, Scott is more than willing to do the deed with Pamela, but she refuses to give it up unless he transforms into the wolf. Scott transforms and the two get it on.
   Later in the film, Scott abandons being the wolf. This doesn't matter for his basketball career in the long run, because although his small town is willing to keep a secret, it seems unlikely that Scott could go pro and be the basketball playing werewolf in the NBA. If this happened, then the whole world would know. Who knows how people would react to the knowledge that werewolves exist and they like to slam dunk.
   Although, Scott eventually ends up romantically with Boof, there is no guarantee that this relationship works. How many high school sweetheart stories last forever? If their relationship didn't work, what if in a moment of depression, Scott found himself getting emotional and transforms into the wolf? When people can't make a romantic relationship work that they were convinced was 100%, they may find themselves thinking there is no one out there for them. If Scott had one of those moments, he remembered the time that he slept with Pamela as the wolf and how great he was. This could lead to Scott thinking: "Hey! I can become an Adult Film Star."
    Although the NBA would very likely not keep their mouths shut about employing a werewolf, the Porn Industry is bound to be more relaxed about such a thing. If word got out that there was a werewolf porn star, people would probably think it was a hoax. Scott's career would be treated like a gimmick and success would follow.
   As crazy as this all may sound, ask yourself this: If there were a Porno Werewolf, would you want to see it?
   For the record, I wouldn't want to see a Porno Werewolf. That's just gross.

(Artwork by Isaac Keith Martinez)

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