THE FINAL DAYS OF JABBA THE HUTT    

A POEM (DOES IT GET ANY GEEKIER THAN A "STAR WARS" POEM?)

"Return of the Jedi" (1983)

 Directed by Richard Marquand

Jabba the Hutt, are you high?
Watcha smokin' in "Jedi"?
C'mon, it's obvious. It's not tobacco.
I think it's the stuff that makes you wacko.
Hangin' out with filth and scum.
Traveling down a road of dumb.
Your palace has become a partying frat.
Eating all those frogs has made you fat.
Sitting on your slab-like throne.
Watching the show, all alone.
Those bounty hunters aren't your friends.
Neither is that pet gremlin.
Jabba, I'm so sorry but I must expose
that you're even too lazy to put on clothes.
If you have a last name, 

I'd sure like to learn it.
Or is it simply "The Hutt", 

like "The Frog" named Kermit.
Your house band is tacky. 

Your dancers are skanks.
Trying to feed a Sarlacc a Jedi on a plank?
You took a princess and made her a slave.
Things like this is what dug your grave
 

Jabba, maybe if you weren't so high.
You could have grown old to peacefully die.
But instead you were choked by the chain of your slave.
And now you occupy a huge Hutt-sized grave.
It's too late, Jabba for the price you had to pay.
A long time ago, In a galaxy far, far away.

(Artwork by Isaac Keith Martinez)